Tuesday, January 26, 2010
I've been crying for 2 days.
I hate myself for hating this house.
I hate myself bcs I break down easily.
I hate it that my parents never finish listening to my words.
I hate that I often get into a fight with my parents and aunts and grandma.
I hate that my auntie always asks the wrong question at the wrong time and force me to answer it.
I hate it when I say "ya nggak tau", my auntie asks again, "ya rasae yak apa lho kok gak tau"
I hate it that I always get mad after that.
I hate it that I rarely get peace and quiet in this house.
I hate that I often feel that my dog is the only one that can calms me down.
I hate it that everyone is asking for my help at the same time and demand me to finish it at the very same time and keeps yelling at me when I was doing someone else's request.
I hate it that I'm all alone in facing these troubles.
I hate it that I hate a lot of stuff.
I hate it that I've been crying a lot.
I hate it that I have to wake up tomorrow with a smile.
Smiling to my friends, cracking up jokes, telling them nothing.
I hate myself for saying "I can take this. I can. I have to," when I cant.
I hate myself for telling myself that I'm fine.
I hate myself for getting angry easily.
I hate it.
I hate this feeling.
I hate hate.
I hate myself for hating this house.
I hate myself bcs I break down easily.
I hate it that my parents never finish listening to my words.
I hate that I often get into a fight with my parents and aunts and grandma.
I hate that my auntie always asks the wrong question at the wrong time and force me to answer it.
I hate it when I say "ya nggak tau", my auntie asks again, "ya rasae yak apa lho kok gak tau"
I hate it that I always get mad after that.
I hate it that I rarely get peace and quiet in this house.
I hate that I often feel that my dog is the only one that can calms me down.
I hate it that everyone is asking for my help at the same time and demand me to finish it at the very same time and keeps yelling at me when I was doing someone else's request.
I hate it that I'm all alone in facing these troubles.
I hate it that I hate a lot of stuff.
I hate it that I've been crying a lot.
I hate it that I have to wake up tomorrow with a smile.
Smiling to my friends, cracking up jokes, telling them nothing.
I hate myself for saying "I can take this. I can. I have to," when I cant.
I hate myself for telling myself that I'm fine.
I hate myself for getting angry easily.
I hate it.
I hate this feeling.
I hate hate.
what we could have been, 9:15 PM.
