Thursday, December 31, 2009

double postinggg :P

so. 2009.
let's rewind.
january thru june.
I'm working my brain out to actually finish my eleventh grade.
had a MAJOR drama with the classmates, which I sometimes regret, and other time I was okay with the drama.
Get along again after the 2AM talk at Batu.
I was still sleeping when they told me to talk.
So, sorryyyy for talking non-sense.

sister was doing the NUS test at feb.
I was hoping I could do the same in 2010.
turns out I wont.
well, I wont survive anyway.

Got confused about uni stuff.
Singapore or Melbourne?
I said, "Singapore ae ma, lebih deket and cheaper"
Shooting my target at SMU.
their requirements are : SAT with the scores of 2000.
I stopped, and I back down.
Next stop, SIM.
Daddy was all mad since he thought I chose SIM since I can get in easily.

had bbq with ia6.
fun times.

Brokenhearted at 14th of February 2009.
After 2 years, I got over him in a day.
Tragic, huh?
That day, I realised I wasted 2 years of falling in love with the wrong guy.
The guy that was having a crush with another girl.
A better girl.

July thru December

Attend 2 edu fair.
Universal's, Alfalink's.
I was considering Curtin, SIM, and Monash Uni, and Melb Uni.
All three was great unis.
Days later, scratch out Curtin.
I was planning to take business management, until someone told me not to.
Scratch management.
Didnt know what I was gonna take.
Considered communication.
Until my sister's agent at Alfalink gave mum the William Angliss handbook.
It's an institute specializing in hospitality, cookery, pastry, and tourism.
My heart just told me that it's the right uni for me.
And now, I'm ready to apply :)

12 September 2009.
17th birthday.
Got 3 surprises from classmates and friends :)
love youuuu <3
Oh, thank you for the suitcase, will bring it to Oz :)
thank you for the lion pensilcase, that I havent give a name yet, he will accompany me at Oz.
And the pretty white shawl.
Thank youuu.

Sister going to Melb at the end of September.
Thought I was gonna cry.
I didnt.
Oh, well.
She didnt cry either.
Guess we're both tough girls :B

had another drama with classmates and reconcile at retreat.
(reconcile, koyok divorcees2 ==" hahahhaa)
hadnt have another drama since.
and we wont.
right? :)

had another crush.
had another doubt.
had another crush.
and now I'm letting go.
My love life has been WORSE than ever.
And I really dont need everyone rubbing theirs on my face.
But still, I'm hoping 2010 will bring me good luck :B

there's too much things to write down.
2009 has been an amazing year, and I'm hoping that 2010 will bring more excitement and less tears.
More joy, less sadness.
More friends, no enemy.
Getting my bestie back, because I feel like I'm losing her to him.

Anywayyy, have a nice NYE! :D

what we could have been, 4:43 PM.

received the report card at the 22nd.
got great marks.
not awesome, only great.
it's definitely better than every other semester at Sinlui.

Christmas was fine.
celebrated it in my hometown.
dad cooks dinner, as always.
been waiting for a year for the meal, since he only cooks it in Christmas.
Wonder if I can taste the chicken again when I'm in Melb later.

25th Dec 09, 9PM.
we went to the train station.
Went to Bandung to search for some clothes to bring to Melb and njalan2o ik :P
it was funnnnnn :D
got a LOT of things.
dad said, "mestie dulu prissy mo brkt qt kesini juga, liat ni anak, belanja terus dpt byk"
ni anak = me.
he said it with a joke-tone, ofc.
oh, he was pretty impressed with my report card. Thank God.
He said, "udah bagus, tp isa dinaikin lagi, km buang2 kemampuan"
but, he said this after 3 days.
after me dissapointed since I thought he hated the scores,
after I asked mum to asked him if my grades were enough,
and he said it privately.
In the computer room.
by the wayyyy.
ate at Nanny's Pavillon at Bandung.
loveeee the place, decor, and pancakes :)
ate twice there.
but, I'm getting fatter.
with the proficiat shoot coming up, I should be on a diet, which I'm pretty good at postponing.
we went home at 28th Dec 09, 7PM.
by train.
which took 10 hours.

cant believeeee 2009 is over.
this year is a really dramatic year.
far from boring.
with all the class dramas, the heartbreaks, the tears, the laughter, new bffs, the conflicts.
It's one hell of a year.
oh, the sweet 17th :)

new year :
going to Magetan for some pecel :9

what we could have been, 4:23 PM.
Friday, December 18, 2009

I dont understand dad.
before exams, he sometimes says this, "do your best aja lah, jgn terlalu terbebani"
but when I got a bad mark, he got angry and say, "why didnt you study harder?!"
this last happened at my math final exam.
remember what I said?
I studied for 8,5 fucking hours.
that 8,5 hours was me putting a serious mode.
the grand total of me studying that math?
13 hours.
the 4,5 hours, I was waiting for my friends to help me with the equations.
I finished at 1 AM.
he told me to do my best, I did my best.
I got the remedial, and he got angry.
It's like he doesnt appreciate me at all.

tomorrow I have this try out for physics.
Everybody I know, including the clever ones, from IA6-IA9 DO NOT study for this test.
they'll just guess.
I actually did some reading.
But my preparation for this was only 3 days.
This is HOLIDAY, for God's sake!
I dont want to study, but I did.
Eventhough I cant memorize some equations.
And he got angry bcs I watched Avatar today, which btw is an awesome movie. :P
What? He thought that everybody else was studying?
Everybody else is already at Sgp, Jkt, Thailand, and their hometowns and SKIPPING this effing try out!!!!!
Gosh, I'm depressed.

what we could have been, 9:20 PM.
Friday, December 4, 2009

At 7 till 9.30 am today, I wanna be a social student.
They only have 2 chaps for the math exam, and we have 4.
4 fucking chapters.
can't solve 3 essays.
all I have learned for 8,5 hours yesterday is gone.
yes, 8 and a half hours.
that's the longest ever to take me to learn math.
sucky integral.
I super hate integral.
I despise integral.

I'm lining up for the remedial.
Cos there no chance in hell that's not happening.
But, if the teacher decides that all of the students get a +50 score, I'm not lining no more. :P

what we could have been, 3:01 PM.
Wednesday, December 2, 2009

chatted with Marcia minutes ago via fb.
she asked "kok jarang update blog?"
and here i am, updating it.
what's going on with my life?
Nothing much.
just exams, school, awful home.
I'm having my end of semester exam now.
it's been okay, but I'm scared for biology, theology, and civic.
it's weird how I not worry about physics :P
home is awful these days after sis went to oz.
It's not bcs there's no one to talk to, it's bcs grandma is driving me crazier and crazier every single minute of my life.
sometimes I feel guilty for yelling, not answering, and being rude.
but all of that guilt went away when she's giving me this tone.
this superbly annoying, impatient tone.
smtms I wish that I'm at melb with my sis.
enjoying my college life.
and I meet new friends.
meet a boy, maybe :P
and just live a happy life there.
but every other time, leaving surabaya seems...
you know, heart breaking.
I have to leave this city, where I live for this 17 years of my life.
I have to say goodbyes.
Long goodbyes.
I-will-never-see-you-in-2-years-or-more-unless-you-visit-me goodbyes.
I will miss my dogs, and will always wishes that they would still be alive when I'll back, and still remember me.
And I have to be apart with mum and dad, is the ultimate heart breaker.

what we could have been, 10:30 PM.


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Sara Josephine
My Bestie♥, Siska
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